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10 points, 3 comments
over 1 year ago

I picked up the vodka, crisco and c-clamps. When are we going to hook up?

Whoa who is this???

Really? We're going to do this again? I thought you said your were DTF? I got my Stargate costume from Dragoncon ready to go.

Lol ur funny but i dnt know who this is and im a lil worried bout the c clamp program haha and im pretty sure i didnt ever use the term down to fuck and

if i did it was prob just drunk jokes so really who are u ive never even been to san fran

Lol ok bye then whoever u were!

Sorry I was on the phone with the escort agency canceling the midget clown-stripper. Now I have to figure out what to do with with these gerbils.

The pet store doesn't take returns. Way to ruin our big night. Don't you know how much time and effort I put into this :(

I ve never met u and if i had i wouldnt know cause u wont tell me who u r and this is strange!!! Im not in to c clamps or crisco or dragoncon or animals

Ewww who are u is this that app where u change ur number to text ppl u just fucking with me right i mean its humorous and entertainging me while i work b

ut really u are kinda creeping me out

Really ur just gonna leaveme hanging... Who are u?

5 points, 0 comments
over 1 year ago

Hey there sexy!

Hi. Who's this? :)

I'm sorry. I don't recognize the number

Sorry it took me so long to reply. When you texted me last night my hands were covered in petroleum jelly and my phone slipped and fell into the gimp's cage.

I had to bear mace him to get it back, but he had chewed through the casing and cracked the screen. Good excuse to get an iphone4 though :)

Anyway, I've been thinking about what you said, and I don't think I'm comfortable having that many bees in my basement, even though the look on the gimp's face would be priceless.

Excellent excuse to get an iPhone 4.

But I still don't know who this is. My apologies.

I'm the guy with the bees. How can that not ring any bells?

Sorry not riming any bells

Thinknyou might have the wrong number.

4 points, 0 comments
over 1 year ago

Awww who is this i dont have this number

Huh? Did I say that out loud?

No you typed it... Who is this?

I WAS GO TO SLEEP WHEN TIRED BUT HEARD NOISE

Omg is this tommy? Leave me alone you freak

No, not Tommy. Make ellipsis again for me, so good

Okay then who is this?

Rides bicycle, rides tricycle, rides icicle. Foil hung on a Christmas tree is nicycle.

This is joseph! :D how are you! I miss you too!!

JOSEPH WAS FONE!

4 points, 4 comments
over 1 year ago

hey there pretty lady! Sorry it took so long for me to text you back! What's up?

Hey what's up with you? Umm number not save! Who be there?

The sexiest most wonderful man on the planet of course!

Lmao! Brad Pitt?

You know, when I saw you, two thoughts ran through my head. Want to know what they are?

Lol.....sure.....

My first thought was.. Now that's a beautiful woman. I want to talk to her, treat her right, maybe bring her home to momma...

Ayyy suspense is killing me!

My second thought was....I wonder what her fucking head would look like on a stick

So, lets hang out? Braid each others hair, pour hot wax on kittens.. Or whatev

Tell me! Who are you or we can never hang out!

Sugarpop, calm the fuck down. If I wanted you to know who I was, I would have carved it into a titty of yours

Ok I'm reporting this number. Done and done.

Was it something I said?

Ronny told me how you like to get down

Wrong phone number

Oh. Well I'm embarrassed now.So sorry to have bothered you my dear!

Just throwing this out there. I need a girl for two hours next week saturday, pays 900

Donkey show btw

3 points, 0 comments
over 1 year ago

U don't remember me? We met at the bar the other night & talked about my "special piercings" u said u wanted to see em up close and personal. *wink*

No I don't know who this is sorry.

Ohhhh backin out now, I see how it is

After I cleaned & polished everything just for u!

This is not who you think it is. You must have the wrong person.

Doesn't mean we can't still have sum fun! =D

Please stop texting me I don't even know who you are.

Want to find out? I'm lots of fun

And I have d cups & an 8 inch cock

Im calling the police

3 points, 0 comments
over 1 year ago

Hello my name is abduhl

Hello? Do i know you,

Yes. One of your great grandfathers was also my great grandfather and so we are long lost cousins.

Regarding this great grandfather we are splitting up his fortune and you will be pleased to know that you are entitled to a portion of his money!

And you found me how?

The details are not important. What is important is how rich you have become!

Oh really? Well i would like to know the details

Of course of course but we should begin transferring your funds as soon as possible. For this we will need your full legal name and bank routing information

3 points, 1 comment
over 1 year ago

Ha ha very funny :/ so any way we need to talk .

They're on to us. I told you we should have flown the package in. The port authority is calling in DHS right now.

You have the wrong number

Don't you wish. I gave the agents your number I advise you not to run. We have Goldstein on retainer for just such an event.

Quick joking whoever u are. This is becoming quite annoying.

I don't have time for games Sam. These guys aren't screwing around. Apparently importing bull semen carries more risks than we had previously thought.

3 points, 0 comments
over 1 year ago

Some hae meat and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it; But we hae meat, and we can eat, Sae let the Lord be thankit

ya nuh wah m sayin?

A note was slipped under my door telling me to text a thanksgiving poem to this number

I didn't write it, but it's for you ;). You can take that one home with you!

Kinda hung up on that question, eh? Well, I'm merely a feather blown about by the wind. A feather that really likes turkey and cranberry sauce.

Ok dont txt any more

3 points, 0 comments
over 1 year ago

I know its a san fran area code but idk who u are. Lol

U gave me yur number the other night... u said u were DTF

Lol Ok what is your name is what I'm getting at.

Where did i meet u justin? U need to help me out here haha what night n where were we??

We both were really drunk I don't remember what u look like yur not beat are u?

Haha no im not n i dont remember u either ill send u a pic of me just so u have verification. And can u tell me what night or about how long ago this was??

U said u would let me put it in yur butt is this offer still good?

Yeah i dont believe i ever said that. I dont do that.

U still are not answering my question...how long ago was this? Like 2 weeks 1 week?

Wtf you fucking promised!

I DEMAND BUTT SEX!

Hahaha ok seriously who are u?

U think u can just tell people u are going to do things and then just back out of it!?

U dont even remember what i look like. And promises were made to be broken.

Ok for real.... I saw yur number with condom taped to the bathroom wall and underneath it said yur gonna need this

Where was this at??

Yeah i know who put that there then. N i dont live in LB anymore. N i will be changing my number tomorrow.

Well before u change it are u still DTF?

i have never met you so no.

Glad u had a fun time messin with me. Night.

I promise u will like it.... I wont even try to put it in yur butt

Excuse me...u dont know me. U dont love me.

Ive always loved you

I DEMAND U RETURN MR PEEPERS!!!!

Are you high? Ur really startin to act like a creeper and id appreciate it if u would just tell me who u are

I'm not high anymore.... oh hey.... u know what.... this isn't Brandon is it?

My name is not brandon

3 points, 0 comments
over 1 year ago

Johnathan. Who is this?

YOU FUCKIN KNOW WHO

How did u get my number?

Bathroom stall wall

Ok sounds good later

If you had 1 wish what would it be

For u to leave me alone

Let's pretend the wish is from a genie so there's rules on the wish like you can't wish for someone to love you etc and leaving you alone isn't wishable

Top Trolls

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xavier42

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mako

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abduhl

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